Story of struggle, faith and friends


This is my story. A personal story and I believe that’s a good script for a movie. I hope I can finish writing like a movie script because it is what it is. 

I was born in 1997. My father was doing a decent job and he had a bike. That time in Bangladesh, having a bike was beyond luxury. We never had issues in our family. I was studying in a decent school. I would always wear nice clothes. Happy life. My father was my best friend. I would wait for him to come so that we can play cricket. He was always very tired after coming from work but still, he would play with me. He bowls, I bat. That’s kinda unfair but father is father. Fathers don’t need anything in return.

Then one day, back in 2008, we figured out, my father lost everything in the economic crash. I remember we didn’t even have proper food. My father did a very low income job after that and I have seen those people who would bow down to him are now changed and few even insulted him over some issues. Then I understood, money= respect. If you don’t have cash, no one cares. Yes, even my mother was upset with my father (they were in great love, my mother didn’t like a few of my fathers financial decisions). However, I was always a fan of my father. I loved his thoughts and the way he helps people. 

After passing my 10th grade, I joined the govt polytechnic to learn computers. It was a horrible place and I left it. Everyone on this planet was against me. Except the cool dude, my father. I joined a few organizations. Worked for them for free. I learnt English. Someday, I met my friend Jurjen who told me how to start a pflab and share tech etc. I liked the idea. Did / doing great work and one day, Ronald Van Den Hoff told me, If I host everything inside s2m location, s2m will start paying me generous support. I spent more than the budget allocated for the social work. Got love from everyone. Start gaining confidence too. 

I got an amount of money and saved most of it. Started a shoe business. Buying cheap in Vietnam and selling with a good profit margin in Bangladesh. Life was great. It was amazing. I was hungry to be rich and along with that, I start making more s2m locations and more flab programs. I was on top. People who used to talk sh#t, start talking nice things about me. I am an example all of a sudden.

Year 2020, february. My friend Jurjen came to visit me and my family. We had a great time and I was the happiest boy on this planet earth. I admire him a lot.

After the happy moments, I figured out I have polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). It is one of those diseases that kills you completely and very soon. Only kidney transplant can save you, which is very expensive. I was prepared to die.

Then someday, I heard the Covid virus is in Bangladesh. It’s no longer a Chinese virus. It’s global. The world’s best traveler to travel every corner with great speed. Elon musk and his rocket project was jealous.

Oneday, I woke up and learned that the shoe factory in Vietnam that made shoes for me is now bankrupt. And the entire supply chain and transport has collapsed. I lost my shoe business, lost some money and was depressed.

The s2m office needed to shut down due to the govt resolution. I figured out, s2m is not doing great. They will stop paying. I fell from the sky within a week. However, Mr. Ronald Van Den Hoff was still paying me in the sense of support. I survived. 

2020 is gone. It’s 2021. A new year has started. I was hopeful this year something good will happen. I went to the regular medical check and figured out I might have cancer along with the PKD. I was stunned. Didn’t share with anyone. I thought no one could take this.

My life was terrible. Everyone could see that. But no one cared. But, Ronald sir asked me if I could make a shop and sell anything. I said yes. I have some expertise in garment products. He helped me set up a shop and I became a shop owner.  That could have been a happy ending.

But, life tests you every now and then. My father has the same disease as mine! I just figured out early he couldn’t. Year 2022. My father is in the hospital. My shop, s2m program, everything I have was in a mess. Because my father is my world. The only best friend I have ever made. 

After 1.5  months of expensive treatment, he was back home. But he started needing shitty dialysis. He hated it. Twice a week, you need to get your blood out and put it back again with a machine. A painful process. My personal finance, mental health and other relationships were in a mess too. But with a supportive family and a supportive friend circle. I jumped back. Not recovered everything but somewhat stable.

I focused on my passion. I Started working with Jurjen, my friend John and still the shop was running. My health was getting worse day by day. I can listen to the body. It was shouting out of pain.

One Day, I found a genius kidney doctor in Bangladesh who was head of kidney dept in the Bangladesh army. I visited him and he urged me to write a few new tests. By that point, I did every medical test on planet earth. But I discovered there are few tests I didn’t do. The doctor told me, I don’t have cancer nor PKD. I might have some kidney issues. I was not hopeful because I already spent a hell lot of money in India and they told me I have cancer. But the doctor was so convincing. I finally went through those tests. And the report says, I have a stomach problem and no cancer nor PKD. I have a few kidney issues which are not so dangerous. I breathe out like a human. Finally, I was happy in my chest.

Don’t you think this should be the end of the happy ending?

My father was so strong and better than the last 6 months. Suddenly on January 18 morning, he started vomiting blood. We took him to the hospital and the doctor said, he needs an icu and within a few minutes otherwise he will be dead. We took an ambulance and put him in a private hospital near our house and they suggested life support.

We trusted the doctor and admitted there. But it was 800-1000 euros per day! I told the doctor to continue the treatment, I will arrange the money no matter what. He was in hospital for 20 days and on Februrary 6th, he died.  My entire planet just fell down. I lose my only peace. My father. I didn’t cry when I saw the dead body. I didn’t say a word. I was silent and I was like a robot. We took him to the village and we buried him. 

Everyone seems to move in life. But for me the grief is worse everyday! I had panic attacks and went through a huge depression. The reason is, I was already fighting so hard. Ohh, I forgot to tell you how I managed the money for my father’s life support.

I asked my friends, family and sold the last piece of land I owned. Few friends didn’t bother to reply, whereas I was expecting they would be with me at that time.

Anyways, after my father’s exit, I was having panic attacks everyday. I mean every single day. And I wanted to travel somewhere to change the air. But, my financial condition is of course very bad.

Then I posted a few lines on a traveler community I am attached to and added values everyday. Everyone was touched. I got a phone call from a friend. He said, “ pack your bag, you are going to Nepal tomorrow”. I was very confused. Then I realized they made a crowdfunding and raised 250 euros to buy a return ticket to Nepal and just 7 hours before flight, I got the ticket in my hand.

Now I am writing this story from Pokhara, Nepal.

Beside a lake named Phewa lake. It’s a peaceful place. I am kinda happy but still missing my father. We had great traveling memories together.

You can maybe ask, with all the problems and fighting, did I ever make bad decisions? Yes, I attempt suicide thrice in my life and few friends saved me. Imagine, you are 25 and you need to take care of a family of 5 people. Setting up a business and still need to face these kinds of problems. I wish no one goes through this.

But in case you are in this zone in future, I have some advice for you. More than insurance, invest in friends, network and do good unconditionally. I believe if you do good things, humanity gives back in double. 

For example, the travel community, I spent hours and hours helping people. Hosted a lot of them in my house and it was my genuine passion to add value. I never expected anything. But when I needed serious help, they came forward.

That’s the best part of human life. We have a word to describe that, yah I remember- Asynchronous reciprocity?